After a month of planning, I have narrowed down my plans to this:
I probably decided to ditch Anime Expo, but I am still going to AM2 instead for sure. Free > Spending money anyday.
All my friends ditched me so I have no ride to Socal. I’m still waiting on someone to give me his answer but I’m already assuming he’s going to say no.
I absolutely definitely have to go so I narrowed down my options to trying to find a ride with someone or just taking a bus all the way down there, which I absolutely DREAD. I took it once and it was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. -_- But if that’s what I have to do to see my girlfriend, I will do it no hesitation at all.
I am staying over Vivian’s house again, I haven’t done so in a really long time. It’s going to be like old times :]
The weekend in Orange County will be on of my final escapes for the summer until I have to get super serious and get my life on track.
In the last two years, have you had feelings for anyone else besides vivan?
Well yeah. I’m not gonna bullshit anyone. I can be a man and admit to my mistakes. Get ready for an essay.
Vivian and I have been together for almost 2 years now , but 2 years ago early on in the relationship I didn’t know what I wanted. I still talked to other girls back then.
I was stupid, young, and naive; I didn’t know whether to take my feelings seriously because Vivian was so far away. Back then I thought it was ok to have feelings for more than one person.
But I was horribly wrong. To love someone means you give them your entire life , heart, and soul. It can’t be shared or divided.
As I found out how much hurt I was causing my girlfriend , when Vivian left me, when I realized how much of an asshole I was, and when I opened my eyes and saw that this girl loves me for real my love for her was the realest I can possibly give, that woke me up and slapped me in the face. Hard.
I threw away my old self, I vowed never to hurt her like that anymore or ever be like that again, and I began to erase those memories from my mind.
I learned so much over these two years, especially during the last year, I learned what it means to really be in love with someone and give them your all.
I still have an enormous amount of guilt and regret. I feel like it will still take me forever until I think my girlfriend should forgive me.
But in the end, all the changes and sacrifices I have made, are all worth it. I am with the most special girl I could ever find or ask for, and I’ll try my absolute best to hold on to her.