“Girls are like a math problem. In the beginning, I wonder how I’m going to solve it. I figure if I just study it a bit more, then a solution can be found. It’s very simple, but there’s still a wonder to it.”—Yi Jung, Boys Over Flowers
Religion has its fine points. One of those is the act of repenting. I want forgiveness of my sins. I feel like I was a monster and I cannot even forgive my former self.
I despise myself.
I feel like Siegfried from Soul Calibur. Video games are really essential to the learning process , I swear.
I will repent for my sins. I can no longer say I live my life with no regrets; I have far too many regrets.
It’s odd; I have completely erased my guilt and sympathy emotions. I have no remorse for anything. Should I change that? Or should I just find alternate methods of dealing with things and keep those traits?
I want to be forgiven someday. For everyone to forget what I formerly was. Clinging to the past will not help me. I am changing; I am on my path to repent for all my sins.
So for those of you who say don’t change who you are; too bad. I change constantly. There’s probably no real me until I have fully repented.
My mind is constantly in fantasy. Why do I prefer to live in what is not real? Why do I run away from reality?
Wishing is the same as praying, essentially. They have nearly the same objective; but what makes them different? I would say faith, obviously. Having faith is hard for me. After researching countless explanations on the meaning of life, the concept of a divine entity doesn’t register well in my head. I wish I can pray.
I used to pray as a child. When I was brainwashed to believing it worked. But as i grew up I saw that the only way to get what you want is through your own hard work and efforts. Try living life praying for everything to come to you and see where you go.
Praying , or faith in general, is for people who need that support in their life. That extra bit of hope. I personally have nothing against it; however I prefer to seek other methods of living my life by removing unnecessary elements of it.
Yes, quite a somber post I have here. Might be offensive to many people but I’m not here to get my mind changed or to get into a heated debate about religion. It’s just my own opinion and yes I can be stubborn sometimes but what can I do.
I have a dilemma.
I want something, but I’m afraid of failure so I don’t even try anyway. Vital error , hm? If i learn to just begin to attempt something, I’ll get farther. Not just stay put and “wish” and “pray” for things to occur.
As Mr.Garrison once told me, “The world is about success. Everyone judges you on how successful you are.”
And there are many keys to success including education. So get an education, kiddo. Go be successful; I’ll meet you all at the top.
stress is eating away at me, i wish i can get away but i have obligations.
so today was weird. i woke up at 1pm and i felt tired as fuck still.
Abby made me smile last night and i talked to her again today. What a good friend :]
Ave said she has a surprise for me, i wonder what it is?
I need to call DVC and ask them if im even registered. If not, i dont know what to do anymore about college. Im fuckin up.
I went to Sophie’s house today. We just watched her sister play video games haha, and we talked about our problems.
Then, speak of the devil. her boyfriend comes out of nowhere and created an awkward atmosphere but he left. He thinks me and sophie actually did something when first of all, im his friend so he should trust me and he should trust his girlfriend more. ive been through this with everyone time and time again; sophie and I are just friends and its always been that way.
And then, i get news. It completely shattered my day, as if anything else was going better anyway. I hope this news isnt true because i dont know what i’d do if it is. But the least i can do is help. its my fault.
Well im going to eat for the 5365643534th time today. goodnight everyone.
i never thought of this, but what is the purpose of sighing?
ahem ahem, wikipedia states:
"A sigh is an exhalation of air, arising from tiredness or emotion, namely love.”
well, that’s odd because i often sigh out of sadness, not tiredness or love.
do they mean that in a positive way? as in a lovestruck person sighing at the sight of their fantasy girl/boy? or a sigh as in “sigh, i’ll never have him/her”
quite an ambiguous definition; tsk tsk, wikipedia. perhaps i should search for more. later on though; i will continue my drama ;]
Well i havent slept properly in a while. my body has not fully adjusted to the time here; but i like it this way. the night is so peaceful, cold, dark. it feels like the world is asleep but me, and i am free to do what i please.
Concerning the other things going on with me, i prefer not to worry too much about it. Dwelling on such matters will get me nowhere; i should do productive things.
One day i’ll get to where i want to be. Yet, everything seems too slow to get there. How long will it take? I dont think it matters, as long as i’ll eventually succeed.
"It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop" -Confucius
i love asian philosophy ;] hmm, wait..
an interesting field. even Bruce Lee studied it.. maybe i’ll take a closer look.